Tuesday, February 4 // Martes, 4 de febrero
ENGLISH
This morning went really well. I had my last batch of new classes: Spanish civilization and Artistic Monuments of Sevilla. The civilization class reminds me of a class I took last semester but I am ready to learn more specific information about Spain and its culture and history. I really liked the first day of Monuments because we took a small tour of some important areas nearby the school. The professor asked us what we noticed and we had to point out specific things; he told us that we will be learning how to appreciate architecture and look at it differently.
After class I tried some pastries with a friend, Drew - the pumpkin one was surprisingly the best over the chocolate ones (tasted similar to an apple strudel)! We visited the American food store too, and it was really strange. There wasn't a lot of products in the store, but they had organic peanut butter, pop tarts, barbecue sauce, and lots of candy to name a few things. No ranch, unfortunately, but I swear I wouldn't have bought it!! I swear.
Now I just feel off for some reason. I ate dinner and everything is fine but it's almost like everything is too fine. This past week and weekend were so packed and I had so much fun, and now things are calming down because classes have started. I don't have a set routine yet, which is fine because I like to do different things each day, but I think it's also difficult to choose what to do in such a magical city like Sevilla. I think tomorrow I might do homework in between classes because I have a two hour gap in the morning.
I think part of this unsettled feeling is because I am getting comfortable here, and I'm finally beginning to notice that my family and friends from the U.S. are not coming here to hug me or talk about my day. It kills me that they aren't able to see what I'm seeing. I know that this is my experience. I chose to be here and I deserve to be here, but sometimes it's hard to not feel guilty that I get to spend time in Europe while others may not have the same opportunity.
Just about every day, though, I see something in the city that makes me think of someone back home. When I see famous monuments, I think of my sister who was here a few years ago and walked the cobblestones that I walked. When I walk on the shopping street to get to school every day, I think of Jo because I discovered European stores for the first time with her. When I see hostels (everywhere) I think of our time at Bob's Hostel in Amsterdam. When I have a good experience at a restaurant or café, I make a mental note so that I have options when my parents visit over spring break. Inside jokes with my friends pop into my head, but obviously they have little significance here. The best thing that these moments can provide me is a reminder that I have lots of people who love me and support me.
I am thankful to be here and I know that this is a once in a lifetime experience. I'm learning that it also comes with ups and downs. As an emotional person in general, it's hard for me to let go of things that I am feeling. Luckily, being here alone is teaching me to stay out of my head and be more open and present.
